


Crossroads

by Keywiz13



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crossroads Deals & Demons, Demon Dean Winchester, Gen, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 04:16:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2255565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keywiz13/pseuds/Keywiz13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean manages to finally trade his Knight of Hell status for a Crossroads Demon status. Everything finally seems to be calming down in his life despite a lack of a younger brother and a certain angel. Then one day he's summoned by a child. A teenage boy. And he comes with a desperate plea to save someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroads

**Author's Note:**

> So like, this turned out a lot longer then I meant to, but I was inspired by a tumblr post (surprise, surprise) and the idea of Ben summoning Dean was just to cool of an idea for me to not write down. So voila! My first fanfic and it's a one-shot. Enjoy.

Dean Winchester thought that he’d finally got the better end of the stick when he lands himself into the crossroads demon job. Trading black eyes for red wasn’t the greatest feeling, mostly because it felt like it was just another connection tying him to Crowley. But this job was calmer. This job was quieter.

Running around with Crowley and training Knights of Hell was a bit of a jarring experience and there were moments where Dean lost himself in all the bloodshed and violence. But when he finally came down from the high, when the Mark finally felt sated with its fill, Dean felt a cold wave of numbness fill his senses. A numbness that felt as dark and as cold as the deepest caverns of hell. Crowley told him not to worry about it. That he’d feel better if he just went back out there and took another ‘howl at the moon’. But Dean knew he couldn’t. Not when the last time he was topside he got caught in a devil’s trap and was forced to confront a grieving brother and a wrathful angel.

Dean shook his head at the unpleasant memory as he allowed his vessel to breathe in topside air. Even after all that time and despite that doing so made things harder on him, Dean still kept his original body. Getting a new one would’ve probably made things easier for him when it came to cutting ties to his old life, but he couldn’t seem to let his body go. It was piece of identity he couldn’t free himself of.

The first few jobs he had were a bit jolting to the senses. Hearing people’s pleas and giving them what they wanted was the good part, leaving them with the message that they were bound for hell in 10 years was the bad. But still, the uneasy feeling that never quite left his dark soul after the _incident_ felt a lot better about the work he was doing now rather than the endless carnage he participated in before.  Things were slightly getting better. Dean felt his life was finally evening out, even if it was in ludicrous circumstances. A few leaves fell on his black jacket and as Dean swatted them away with his hand he made note of the color of autumn they had.  Orange and red hues filled the empty dirt road he was summoned on. Dean smiled slightly at the thought of Halloween.

The calm was cut short as he quickly realized that he was alone. Dean furrowed his eyebrows and started to look around. Heavy foliage surrounded the dirt crossroads and civilization seemed a bit far off. No one was in sight. Dean felt himself a little relieved at the thought of a customer bolting. Protocol called for waiting at least ten minutes but Dean couldn’t give two shits about following Crowley’s rules. He started to leave the area to go take a small walk around the forest, (who knew the last time he was going to be summoned in such a peaceful looking place), when a small voice finally spoke up.

“Wait.”

It was so small that Dean knew he could easily ignore it, but the voice, the small fragile voice, sounded like it belonged to a boy. A very familiar boy…

“Wait, please. Don’t go.”

Dean stopped in his tracks and the uneasy feeling of cold ice numbness came back tenfold. He slowly turned around. A teenage boy with short brown hair, dirty jeans and a big grey jacket came out slowly from behind a tree. Underneath the jacket was a worn out black shirt. A Led Zeppelin shirt.

_Ben._

“Are you…a demon? A crossroads demon?”

Dean stood utterly still. His theoretical heart felt like it was pounding. He never thought he would have to deal with this. Never ever thought that his past would finally catch up with him. Especially when this part of his past didn’t even remember him.

“I-I need your help. I need to make a deal…hello?”

Dean still hadn’t answered, his voice continued to fail him. _God he grew up so much._

“Sir, I really need your help-“

Dean finally took a few steps forward, “I hear you loud and clear kid”

Ben looked a bit more scared as Dean got closer but his resolve stayed strong.

“I need to make a deal”

“What do you need?” Dean asked, trying his damn best not to sound soft or concerned.

“My mother. My mother’s dying. I need you to save my mother”

* * *

 Dean took them to the hospital Ben described. It took all of Dean’s strength and will to get himself to touch his shoulder. Ben looked terrified for a second after they zapped through time and space to land outside the hospital but if anything he looked little bit at awe from the experience. Dean tried not to look at his face that much.  Ben said he had taken a train to get to the outskirts of town so they wouldn’t have to worry about anyone looking for him.

Ben led him up to where his mother was staying and Dean tried to act as cordial as he possibly could when the man at the front desk gave him a visitor sticker.Dean was just actually having a hard time trying to act normal at all seeing as he usually just had to snap his fingers to give people what they wanted. It had been a while since he had to be amidst human civilization. But Dean needed to see this through. A feeling that Dean felt like he had lost long ago wouldn’t let him leave the boy’s side. It was making him travel through this jungle of a hospital where he subtly dodged crying family members and mucus covered patients.

They stopped in front of a door that led to a room in the farthest corner in the hallway. Ben looked like he had to mentally prepare himself before walking through. Dean almost thought he was going to have to open the door for him, but Ben finally grabbed the handle and walked gently in. Dean took a deep breath and followed him.

Her hair was gone.

It was the first thing that came to mind when he laid eyes on Lisa. Her beautiful dark brown hair was completely shaved off. Her sunken eyes were closed but her chest fell slowly up and down to show that she was still breathing. Her usual tan brown skin was pale and pasty. Her usual strong shoulders and chin were frail and fragile. Ben went to slowly sit down next to her and when he grabbed her hand, something within Dean felt like it was breaking. After all he did to make sure she and Ben got the life they deserved, he still couldn't save them.

"Hey Mom. You wouldn't believe what I just did. Like holy shit."

Dean nearly chastised Ben for cursing but then realized that Lisa couldn't even hear her son.

"But don't worry. I'm going to make everything alright. I promise" Ben kissed his mother's hand and then after giving her a long look of affection, he slowly placed her hand on the bed and turned around with determination on his face.

"Okay, I'm ready"

Dean felt still kind of like he was in a trance, "Wait, what?"

Ben's determination deflated. "I'm ready to do this deal, or whatever"

Dean felt like everything around him was happening way too fast. Lisa had cancer, Ben was asking for a demon deal and he was just standing there like an idiot.

"Ben...listen... kid I -"

"I'm not a kid, and how'd you know my name?" Ben asked angrily.

Dean shrugged off the question, "I'm a demon" and boy wasn't that a bit weird to say to his...well he wasn't really his son.

"Look, she doesn't have much longer. The Doctor sugarcoated it to my Aunt and I but I know she only has a few days left. Please, I need to do this." Ben begged, his voice shaking.

Dean shook his head slightly, not wanting to believe in the situation he was in. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that he was actually going to see Ben and Lisa again and he never would've imagined it would be like this.

"Ben, please. You need to realize what you're asking for. Say I save your mother. And you get ten, twenty, as many years as I can possibly give you. You're soul is going to get sent to Hell when you die, no matter what. And trust me, Ben, it’s not worth it. It's just not worth it."

"Isn't it though?" Ben demanded, his hand going back to reach for his mother's. Dean suddenly saw himself, back in the cold air of 2007, clutching his dying brother in his hands, begging him to come back. His hand sticky with the blood of a bullet wound, Sam breathing his last breath into his ear.

Dean sighed, and knelt down to Ben's level, which wasn't as low as it used to be. He grew up way too fast.

"I'm going to tell you something, and I'm going to need you to listen as best as you can."

Dean told him about his brother, how the entirety of his human life was spent in looking after him, taking care of him. And how he once died in his arms. The deal he made where he only got one year. And the hellhounds that tore him to shreds at the end of it. What it was like being dragged to hell. The 30 years of being tortured, of being torn apart and put back together again, over and over and over. Never being quite as whole after each time.

"Is that how you became a demon?" Ben asked softly. Dean scoffed. "No", he said at first, "Well...maybe."

"I...I understand that going to hell is going to suck. Like a lot"

"Understatement-"

"- but I owe it to her. I've been a terrible son. I dropped out of school. I got in trouble with stealing, I..I just... I need to make it up to her"

"By selling your soul to the devil? Ben, I don't think she'd be very happy knowing her only son is bound for hell".

Ben looked like he was being torn apart. He was in so much pain, but the determination from before, the resolve, was disappearing quickly. And all that was left was a frightened little boy. A little boy who just wanted his mother back.

"But, sir... I miss her. She's all I have. I mean yeah I have some family, but like, she's the only one that really understands me. Without her I'm....I'm done. "

"Ben. If you do this, you're done."

They were at a standstill. It wasn't until a good minute had past, a minute filled with Ben staring at his mother, that it hit Dean. An idea that made so much sense yet scared Dean so much. The mere thought of it made Dean want to run away to Hell and never come back topside ever again. But he owed it to Ben. He really did. How could he run away when this child ( _his son_ ) was crying? And boy, were the waterworks really coming now.

"Why? W-why are you doing this? Y-you're a demon. Shouldn't you be convincing m-me to take the deal?" Ben asked through hard to conceal sobs.

Dean didn't say anything, not really knowing how to answer. The idea that had hit him continued to hit him. It gnawed at his soul, demanding to be felt.

"Look! I don't want to die okay! I don't! But I can't stand the thought of my mom dying either! Why does she have to die!? It's not fair! Why can't nobody die? It's not fair...it's not fair...." Ben started off yelling but it dwindled down to more sobs. Dean was surprised no one came in to the room to check up on them, but he guessed a person screaming in a hospital wasn’t news.

All of Dean's instincts were telling him to do the deal. One more soul bound for hell. Another life ruined by his touch. Nothing else was new. However, the cold numbness that had halted his Knight of Hell status was telling him something completely different. It was pushing him towards change. It was pushing him towards ignoring all of Crowley's demands. It was pushing him towards will.

Free will.

"Listen...Ben. I know how much this means to you. And I promise, I'm going to help. I swear. But I'm going to need you to stay right here for a moment." Dean was already heading out the door.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Ben was grabbing at his arm roughly, desperately.

"There's something I need to do. Something important."

"Don't leave me, please, you're my only hope!"

Dean gave Ben a small smile.

"No, I'm not"

* * *

 Castiel was as radiant as ever, his true form tall and intimidating. Dean was happy to see his wings full of life and grace. Last they met, his true form was tall but hunched. His wings broken and frail. Dean guessed Sam and Cas's hunt for the grace Metatron stole went well.

Cas stood outside in the hospital parking lot and when Dean went down to greet him, he saw his eyes, his real blue eyes, widen in anticipation. They stood opposite each other for at least a minute. Dean felt Cas's eyes take him in. The Crossroads status must have been reflective in his own true form. Things certainly changed for the both of them.

"You came" Dean finally said, clenching his fists in his jacket, trying to be strong enough to where his voice didn't waver. Castiel in angel form was a bit terrifying.

"You called" Cas said simply. His voice, so full of anger and confusion from last time, seemed more calm. More wise. But it also held authority. So much authority that Dean almost felt like they had traveled back in time. Back to when he first met Castiel. Back when he was a solider and he saved him by pulling him out of Hell. The anger Cas had before suddenly made sense to Dean. How maddening can it be to know that he pulled Dean out of Hell for nothing? That he, the righteous man, still became a demon anyway. Damn.

"Yeah I called Sam too, but he didn't exactly pick up the phone," Dean mumbled, kicking the road pavement absentmindedly, "Not that I don't blame him".

"Dean. Why did you call me?"

Dean attempted to laugh "What? I can't meet up with my favorite angel and say Hi-?"

"You know damn well you can't."

Dean felt like sinking through the floor all way back to hell. He cleared his throat. "I have a favor to ask"

"What could I possibly do for you-?"

"Lisa's dying"

Cas's eyes widened in disbelief. Dean felt a sense of Deja Vu. Castiel had saved Lisa's life before. Back when Dean was still human and Cas was the bad guy. Back when Cas lost sight of who he was, trying to do the right thing. Back when they were all trying to do the right thing.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Cas finally asked.

"Ben. He summoned me"

Castiel took a threatening step forward. "You didn't-"

"If I did, did you think I would've called you Cas?"

Cas looked suddenly lost again. "You mean...you called me-"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Yes to save-"

"-to ask for help?"

Dean was essentially asking for help, but the way he said it made Dean realize the severity of his actions. After half a year (about 60 years in hell) Dean was finally giving in. After practically spitting at his brother's and his best friend's face when they trapped him in a devil's trap, he finally was admitting to his wrongs. The Mark of Cain hadn't held him captive for ages. Maybe it was when Cain got Dean to finish the job of ending his life. Maybe it was something else, something internal. Maybe he had it in him all along. He was a demon. Cas was an angel. It didn't stop either of them from tearing up the script and writing out their own paths.

"Yeah, Cas. I'm asking for help"

Castiel smiled.

* * *

 

Ben could hardly contain his excitement at the idea of meeting an angel. He still had tear tracks down his face but he was grinning quite a bit when Dean introduced him.

"Wow. Meeting a demon and an angel all in one day. This going to be one hell of a story to tell"

"Yeah if they believe you kid" Dean laughed slightly, amused by Ben's change in demeanor.

"So is this like Good Omens? Are you two like friends?"

"Good what?"

"It's a novel that's quite close to reality actually-"

"Cas what the hell are you talking about-?"

But Ben talked over their banter, getting more excited by the minute,"So is this your plan demon sir? Can Castiel save my mom?" 

"Okay first off, it's Dean, so no more of this 'Demon sir' crap. And yeah. Cas can save your mom. No strings attached."

Ben turned to Cas, his eyes huge and full of hope.

"You're going to save my mom? I don't have to go to hell?"

Castiel smiled softly and slowly began to walk over to Lisa. He placed his right hand gently over Lisa's forehead.

"Yes Ben. No one is going to die. No one is going to hell". Dean could almost feel all three of Castiel's heads turn towards him at his last phrase, but Dean didn't care.

Lisa was glowing.

After making Ben promise not to tell his mother how she healed or that he was about to make a demon deal, they made their way to the door and said their goodbyes.

"Take care of your mom kid. And hey, stop stealing and go back to school dammit"

Ben just smiled and laughed. Happiness was falling through the tears on his face.

"Be well" Cas said, sounding like a goddamn Hallmark postcard.

Ben suddenly gave Cas a big hug. Cas was thrown off a bit but quickly recuperated the act. Ben kept saying his thanks over and over again into the brown trench coat .

Dean gave Lisa one last look. She was sleeping peacefully, the pain gone from her face. She was going to be okay.  _Goodbye Lisa._

Dean grinned at Cas and the boy he had hanging off him and then started to leave the room.  Arms suddenly grabbed him from behind and wrapped around his midsection.

"Sir...Dean...thank you. Thank you so much."

Dean stood there, silent and still for a moment. The numbness was turning into warmth. He slowly gave Ben's arms a few good pats. "No problem." And when Ben finally let go, Dean turned around and ruffled his hair. "Take care, Ben".

They left the room.

"Now what?" Dean asked, slightly nervous and still kind of recuperating from the surge of emotions that we're flowing through him. Emotions he hadn't felt in a long time. Cas gave no answer but he suddenly grabbed his shoulder and without even asking permission, Cas took off in flight with a handful of demon in his hands.

* * *

They landed in the front part of the bunker. For a second Dean felt a slight twinge of terror at the thought of being caught in a devil's trap again. However looking around, Dean saw he had nothing to fear. Castiel refused to let go of his shoulder though.

"Cas? Is that you?" A voice rang out from the library and Dean felt paralyzed. Oh god. This was harder than he thought. He wasn't prepared for this.

"Where'd the hell you go man?" The voice was getting closer, "You're not going to believe who just called me-"

Sam turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Cas and Dean. Cas still had his hand on his shoulder but Dean was grateful for it. He needed as much support as he could possibly get.

"No" 

"Sam, -" Cas started but Sam's shock turned to anger.

"No, I can't do this again! Get him out of here. I don’t care how!” Sam was backtracking fast the way he came, his hands in the air in frustration. Dean had been mostly looking down, but when he did dare to look up, he saw his eyes. Sam eyes were dark and unforgiving. Sam didn’t see his brother. All he saw was a monster that used to be his brother. He quickly disappeared into the library, his footsteps echoing past it, further into the bunker.

Cas stood still with his hand still grabbing Dean by the shoulder. They were both silent for a moment until Cas slowly let go of him.

“You should go talk to him”

Dean gave a dark laugh, “Yeah. Right. Like that’s going to happen.”

“Dean, I swear to God if you don’t go talk to your brother right now-“

“Okay! Okay!” Dean could feel Castiel giving him a rough push towards the library Sam disappeared to. And off he went.

* * *

Dean finally found Sam in the impala. It was in the garage next to most of the fancy cars that the Men of Letters left behind. He saw his giant brother sitting in the backseat, his long legs tucked into his chest. Dean took a deep breath and walked up to the backseat window. He softly knocked his knuckles against it and Sam looked up. The anger from before was gone on his face. He just looked tired.

“Can I come in?”

“No” Sam sounded like a petulant child for a second, but the look on his face showed he was dead serious. Dean nodded his head and backed away from the window.

“Okay. That’s cool” Dean went to sit on the back of the trunk. He was going to have to speak louder for Sam to hear him inside but that was fine.

“I saw that Cas got his grace back. He looks great”

Sam didn’t reply but Dean kept going.

“I killed Cain a couple of months ago. He seemed pretty happy about it. And then Crowley gave me the Crossroads Demon job because I wasn’t really feeling the whole Knight of Hell thing anymore. It’s a lot more peaceful work”

Sam shifted in his seat a little bit, but he still didn’t talk.

“I…I left a message on your phone, but I guess you didn’t hear it. Which is cool. I understand. But you’d never believe who summoned me today”

Sam uncurled his legs and laid down on his back across the seats, as if getting his head away from the back window was going to help him ignore his demon brother.

“Ben. Ben summoned me. He’s gotten so much older I almost didn’t recognize him. He was wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt, which was awesome. I bet he’s got the ladies fawning all over him.” Dean laughed a little at the thought of Ben ( _not his son)_ being a ladies man.

“Anyway, turns out Lisa got sick. Real sick. She had cancer man, she looked…she looked like death in the hospital room…”

He thought Sam was finally going to reply to him, but nothing came.

“Yeah, well, Ben wanted to make a deal.”

“What!” Sam stood up abruptly, his voice loud but muffled from being inside the car.

Bingo.

“Are you serious right now? You took Ben’s soul!?”

“No, no I didn-“

But Sam was already barging out of the car.

“Listen demon, I don’t know what your playing at. I don’t know why Cas brought you here but if you think you can just sit here and tell me of all the shit you’ve been doing-“

“Sam-“

“- in my brother’s body then you can get the fuc-“

“Sam! I didn’t take Ben’s soul!”

Sam stopped ranting. His accusing finger he had in Dean’s face lowered.

“You didn’t?”

“No. No I didn’t”

Sam stood there for a moment, the wheels turning in his brain.

“Cas?”

“Yeah. He saved her. He saved them…again.”

Sam lowered his arms, looking lost but contemplative. He finally gave a tired shrug, “So what? You got Cas to do your work for you. Big deal.”

“Sam-“

But Sam was already walking out of the garage and back into the bunker.

“Good luck with the whole Crossroads Demon gig”

“Sam!”

All of Dean’s instincts were telling him to give up. It was over. Sam gave up on him. What was the point of trying? But the icy numbness that took over from before, the numbness that wouldn’t let him train Knights of Hell anymore, that wouldn’t let him pick up the First Blade that was collecting dust in Crowley’s office, it wasn’t done with him yet. It was pushing him. It was tearing at him. It was turning into fire.

“ _Sammy_!”

Dean zapped to the space in front of his brother making him almost run into the guy. A quick look of fear came over Sam’s face but Dean ignored it.

“Get away from me-“

“Sam, I know the last time we met I was a monster. Like a true monster.”

“You chased me with an axe in your hand-“

“I know! I know! But I’m different now! I can’t even pick up the first blade anymore! I just…I just can’t do it anymore”

Sam looked like he wasn’t going to give up on his position though; his expression was hard and stony.

“You’ve said horrible things-“

“I know-“

“-you’ve _done_ horrible things!”

“I know!”

“How on earth am I supposed to even begin to believe you? How do I know that this isn’t some trick?”

“Sam, I called Cas for _help!_ ”

They were standing there in the empty hallway yelling at each other, their voices echoing down the halls.

“How do I know that I got my brother back?! How can I not think that Dean really died and you're just some...some _thing_ that took over?”

“Sam, I know that I became a monster. I know. The mayhem, the bloodshed, it’s never going to leave me. I can never ever make up for the things I’ve done. That blood is never washing off. I’m sorry! And I know my apology means nothing by now, but I’m sorry.”

Dean couldn’t stop talking. Any idea of backing away and running back to hell was gone. He was past the point of no return.

“I’m sorry for the trials. I’m sorry for Gadreel, I’m sorry for _Kevin_ , and I’m sorry I took the stupid Mark from Cain. And…I’m sorry for dying”.

Sam’s rigid expression suddenly crumbled.

“ _You died Dean_. Metatron killed you and I was there to carry your dead carcass all the way back to the bunker. You _died._ ” Sam was on the verge of crying.

“I was actually calling Crowley while your dead body was in your room. I was trying to _summon_ him! I had no idea what I was going to do. I had no idea what I was going to ask for. But you were dead and I was _calling Crowley_. And the asshole never came, and by the time I gave up you were already gone.”

Dean shook his head at the new information, damning Crowley for never telling him about Sam’s calls.

“Sam-“

But Sam suddenly had a lot to say, a lot to let out.

“And I searched and searched _everywhere_ for you. I went across the whole damn country looking for you! I didn’t even have Cas the first half of the search cause his grace was mucked up and he thought you were dead! And then when you finally showed up. When I finally found you…”

Dean knew what was coming next and he found himself dreading where Sam was going with this.

“I was in Vegas.” Dean said weakly, hoping to skip past that dark point but Sam was having none of that.

“…you were _killing people_ in Vegas. I never found my brother. All I saw was a demon with my brother’s face tearing up Nevada. And when you came after Cas and I at the bunker… “

Sam abruptly turned around for a quick second, composing himself, but when he turned back around, his cold mask was back up.

“My brother is never coming back. He died a long time ago. So you can just go”.

Dean knew that Sam had enough. He didn’t blame him. He really did put him through a lot. There was no reason for Sam to trust that Dean had lost all of his demon instincts.  The air in the hallway between the garage and rest of the bunker was stale and cold and Dean could see Sam breathing through it heavily. Dean took breaths sometimes because he wanted to. But he didn’t have to breathe. Maybe he did die a long time ago.

“Sam …I know that I died. I left and whatever came back was this foul creature that doesn’t deserve any forgiveness or redemption. But…Sammy…I still came back. Yeah I’m not 100 percent who I used to be. But I still came back. And that foul creature that you found in Nevada all those months ago, that’s still here, living within me. But now, it’s not in control anymore. It’s not calling the shots. I feel like I’ve been sleeping for a long time and I’ve finally been woken up. I woke up Sam! I’m alive!”

Sam trembled and looked away from Dean, “How can I know?”

Dean gave a small shrug, “I don't know man. It can be a work in progress. But I know that if I don’t come back upstairs with you, Cas is going to skin my demon ass alive.”

Sam gave a small laugh and his head shook a little. He still looked weary of Dean, but mostly he just looked tired. Dean liked to think he saw a glimmer of hope in his little brother's eyes though. “You woke up, huh?”

And the icy numbness that was engulfing Dean washed away like water. Something familiar replaced it. Something human. 

“I woke up Sam. I came back.”

 


End file.
